1. |
Welcome Back
02:38
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28 years have passed. Some good some bad. Some downright cluttered with painful regrets. Relentless journey to travel down and I don't want to go alone. Leaving myself alone. Contemplating nothing but hate.
I want the bad parts to stay behind and all the hard times to simplify. Content to know I endured a difficult past year and I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry.
Here I am this year standing on my own. Firmly planted in the here and the now.
Where I started was chaos. Sorted out my demons and left them all for dead.
I won't pretend life is easy. Some of the time spent is chasing what's missing.
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2. |
God City
01:57
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I can't genuinely capture my thoughts about our last conversation. This pulls me apart different directions.
Can't reconcile the fact there is no bringing you back. All obligations aside. I didn't want to say goodbye. There is no bringing you back.
Before they lowered you down I was able to have one last embrace in the form of your handshake you adored.
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3. |
Pure Carbon
03:04
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Four hundred thousand dollars spent on your plot of suburban sprawl. Your diamonds are worthless. Privilege has you caught up in a world where "they are just lazy". You exclaim "my struggle".
Please don't even pretend you matter. This world is not yours to reduce and shatter. Narrow minded views are wearing me thin.
I don't think you'll ever change or realize your faults.
When you're gone the world will change for the better. And I won't miss you.
Money won't follow you to your grave. Spent buying faith to protect your fractured face. Know your diamonds don't give you grace.
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4. |
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I never understood what happen to the youthful innocence that everyone exists to leave this place immaculate. I honestly have tried to walk in others shoes to see what I have left to lose.
It's inevitable. I saw it coming from miles away. I want to believe that we as a race are not quite as doomed.
But I'm on a broken ledge grasping to insecure holdings. I am unsure of myself. At 28 I feel too naive to keep trusting. How many times can I keep starting over. Becoming redundant. We forge on.
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5. |
Marionette
03:59
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What's good for me is not good for you. Not that it matter. Pushed myself to follow thru with it. My future, uncertain. I was nothing but loyal for 5 years, but then you just threw it away.
I'm losing faith in this atmosphere. Keeping you around is nothing but painful. You pushed me much further. Leaving you so I can retain my self worth. Can't stand you. I'm moving on.
I tried coping with callow actions, but it's too much. You're a bully dressed up as a friend. Now I know who you are, and I just want distance from that. Tired of asking how you've managed to fool all those people that call you a friend. Count me out.
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6. |
Remove Yourself
01:33
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I lost the arrogance to hold myself above all others. I don't think that's a bad thing. Just think it means I'm growing.
Moving onward to know I am as flawed cuz in my own head that is lacking. I can't pretend.
Maybe I'm too in my head. Cuz lately I've been too quiet.
I think I've managed to quell any rage in my head. It's hard to know. The self awareness stop short of what I will admit to myself.
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7. |
Cutouts
02:16
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I tried to be civil again but I can't pretend that I still don't harbor ill feelings again but I can't pretend that I don't see the distance growing between us both.
One of my biggest regrets was valuing our friendship. I don't think I can cope with you around.
A constant relic of how closeted I became. A sobering reminder that I let myself sacrifice my own being. I am thru doing that.
I can't manage to explain the hell you caused me. I believed I was wounded. Discarded Just a constant bully pretending to be playful. I don't care if you get home safe at night.
Right now as it stands consider me a stranger from here on out. I don't care if you get home safe. You fuck.
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8. |
Lose Light
02:44
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Let the fear wash over. Consuming me. Suspend my thoughts.
I've been losing touch with reality these past few months.
Will you become my safe. Please hold inside all my dread. Render me hopeful. Is all hope dead.
I just want to be absolved. I will survive.
Bleach out what I suffer inward. Illness is tied to hope and everyone within.
I am tired of my head and how it disconnects the physicality of life and how it all ends.
Can you stay with me? Can you bare with me? I don't want to feel alone. I don't want to feel afraid, but I am grasping hollow straws hoping for a sudden change.
Can you broadcast some better days to hold on to. Become a beacon for my life. Please don't lose light.
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9. |
Mainstay
04:02
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My father told me to not be afraid because death will come for us all one day. I've had a hard year caught up inside my head. But I learned I was always afraid. Can't cut it out.
Focused on the past and becoming who I am not I need to remember that I am never afraid. I'm never afraid anymore.
Life left vacant. Held up by shame. This is who I am not. Please future, change.
I am only the sum of the parts that I will admit. Anxiety has riddled these bones with missing tendons. Restructured my fears to discover who I was and who I am.
Falling is progress, at least I learned to think that way. I traveled thru hell by just keep going. My father told me to not be afraid because life is so rewarding.
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10. |
Stay Behind
01:41
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If home is where the heart is, I don't even care. I don't even care. I just want to start running far away from here. Cuz everybody's got problems. Outdated rhetoric and their blind faith in it. I just want to tell all of them. Burn it down to the ground.
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11. |
Never Done
03:28
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I've been nothing but a waste of space the past few days. My body fed up with the daily routines of yesterday. Blank screens and far too much caffeine. Head and heart are racing. I just want my hands to stop shaking. Shot all productivity.
Maybe if I mash all the keys against the walls of my head something good will spill out. Unlikely.
I just remind myself no one is watching. Echo chamber yelling. Just hey "look at me"
Who you are now is not who you have to become. Make them stop and stare. Zone out the world again.
Am I really any different. Does anyone give a shit about what I am doing today. Is it unfair to start comparing. Relax its ok.
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DROUGHTS Chicago, Illinois
We're a band from Chicago. So far we have released a Demo EP and released 2 splits which you may already own on vinyl. LP1 coming soon via Skeletal Lightning
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